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Home  /  Comedy  /  The War on the War on Christmas
13 December 2017

The War on the War on Christmas

Written by Michael Bihovsky
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Let me tell you what my policy is, as a Jew, on whether you wish me “Happy Holidays,” “Merry Christmas,” or even “Happy Hanukkah.”

I truly don’t care.

If you wish me Happy ANYTHING, the only way I will react is to be grateful that you sent me good wishes at all instead of telling me to go fuck myself. Much appreciated.

There is no war on Christmas. Unless I’m a total anomaly, my strong impression is that most people just don’t give a shit. Wish people a happy whatever-THEY-celebrate if you can, or else just do what you want. If you wish people a happy opposite-of-what-they-celebrate just to make a point, you’re a dick. But beyond that, it literally couldn’t possibly matter less.

Can we please go back to worrying about nuclear war and global warming now?

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