The Asthmatic Lad (Never Trust A Pretty Face)

Lyrics by Natasha Reatig
Music (and singing) by Michael Bihovsky

A virgin most emphatical
Made all men’s hearts erratical
Provoking love fanatical
But she was solitaire!

Upon a day sabbatical
A young lad quite asthmatical
Became quite symptomatical
He needed love like air!

The maid cried ‘How problematical!’
And gave some thought socratical
To find a way pragmatical
To manage their affair…

Then, jumping up ecstatical
She said ‘It may be radical –
But teaching Asiatical
His torment may repair!’

Then gently, diplomatical
With movements systematical
She went to work fellatical
Head bent in Eastern prayer…

Their love grew acrobatical
Response was quite dramatical
She saved the lad plhegmatical
A lifetime of despair…

Lyrics © Natasha Reatig, 1985
Music © Michael Bihovsky, 2018