HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY, “ONE GRAIN MORE”!!!

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It’s hard to believe it’s been a full decade since I brought together my most talented friends and students to make a parody with an absolutely ridiculous premise (fun fact: Les Miz does not contain *one single song* about food allergies, despite their obvious connection to post-revolutionary French insurrections).

Since then, the video has won multiple awards, and was featured in hundreds of print and online publications, where it has been hailed as “The funniest nutrition video ever made!” and “…a must, must, must watch!”

I want to give a huge thank you to all the fans of this film. From the strangers who still approach me at Whole Foods to ask if I know how to milk an oat, to the company that mailed me spaghetti and meatballs in a bag (which may have actually been an assassination attempt by Big Gluten), to the dozens of people who have proposed to Megan and/or Lily via YouTube comment – you are all so deliciously weird and wonderful, and we love you (though I’ve been told the proposals are a hard pass).

And a special thanks to you, the friends and fans who have shared this video repeatedly and given us the opportunity to get this passion project onto the screens of well over half a million people. We are so grateful, and this video would never have been successful without you.

We hope you’ll celebrate with us by having another watch below – and if you want to share the video/this post, you won’t hear us complaining ;-)! We hope you get a few minutes of pure laughter – especially those of you with food allergies that have never been anything to you but a danger and a burden. I wanted you on the inside of the joke on this one – and I could not ask for better people to have there with me.

A few specific shoutouts: first, to Lily Bayrock, my brilliant co-director and dear friend, without whom not only would this video never have been made, but I would never have even had the lived experience needed to conceive it. You made every single shot of this video better with your direction and flawless performance, and your impeccable attention to detail always leaves me floored.

To Megan Ermilio (“The Dairy Chick,” according to the internet) and Michael J. DeFlorio – you were my voice and acting students when we made this. Words could never express how proud I am of you every time someone boasts about your performances (which is often). You are amazing performers, and true friends.

Thank you to Dena Blumenthal and Bernie Langer for filming and lighting this thing. Whenever someone tells me how blown away they are by how polished and Hollywood-level quality this video is, I tell them that is entirely thanks to you. And you did it all in two days, with one camera, two lights, and a partridge in a hypoallergenic pear tree.

Thank you to Matthew Dorsch and Elizabeth Filante Sanders, our production assistants, for all the quick set changes and blacking out the windows (sorry again about the damage to your house, Mom and Dad) and being our hands and eyes and ears when we were in front of the camera. We asked so much of you, and you did even more.

Thank you to my amazing mother, Anita Bihovsky, who overheard me singing impromptu Les Mis parody lyrics while baking gluten free cookies (spoiler alert: they sucked) and told me that, on this particular occasion, what I was singing was actually pretty funny, and I should go write out lyrics for the entire song. And thanks to my dad, Ron Bihovsky, who along with my mother took our (mostly) temporary destruction to their house and windows and roof pretty well, all things considered. We could never have made this video without your support.

I hope so much that you all enjoy watching or re-watching “One Grain More,” and be sure to check out its unofficial sequel about the 2020 Covid Quarantine, “Trapped Inside the House.

You can also find lots of fun behind-the-scenes material, including bloopers, Q&A, interviews and press coverage, at www.onegrainmore.com!

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Gun Law Issue, Or Mental Health Issue? (It’s Both.)

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“It’s a mental health issue!!”

First of all, it’s a gun issue. Shocking fact: no mentally ill person has ever committed a gun shooting without a gun.

This monster in Texas bought two assault rifles and 375 rounds of ammunition legally, just days after his 18th birthday, without any waiting period or a permit needed to carry them in public. You not only wrote the laws that allow that, Republicans – you regularly campaign on how proud you are of them. You’re literally still doing it right now, with 19 kids and two of their teachers not even buried in the ground yet!

Second: Yes, it is also a mental health issue. But considering that you Republicans are the main ones who have been closing and/or de-funding psychiatric facilities for years (shifting hundreds of thousands of these mentally ill people you say you’re so concerned about into homelessness, for which you then accuse them of irresponsibility and laziness), and refusing to require insurance plans to provide access to good outpatient mental healthcare. And the very fact that you only start screaming about mental health when there’s a mass shooting adds to the stigma of mental health conditions to begin with, which further deters people from seeking help in the first place.

So fine. Republicans: it’s a mental health issue (in part). But even then, it is still very much your fault.

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“Hadestown” Review (AKA I went to a show! I remember shows!)

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Last night I had the pleasure of seeing the tour of the Broadway musical “Hadestown” at The Kimmel Center in Philadelphia – only my second live show in over two years!

I was blown away literally the minute the show started. I was listening to this incredible, fast, jazzy bass line, and I thought to myself: “Is that a …. trombone?”

And it was. But it wasn’t being used in any way that Juilliard told me was allowed, or even possible.

And that was the gist of experience for me: the thrill of being exposed to an incredible type of music that I didn’t even know existed. Jazzy and haunting. Upbeat but dark. Fun and devastating. New Orleans meets folk meets Motown and spirituals and musical theater – with captivating and stunning visuals and performances to match.

The story itself is a wildly creative take on the Orpheus and Eurydice story, which is my favorite Greek myth (that’s what I loosely based “Paperweight” on as well). It’s such a beautiful story, and already contains so much symbolism about the nature of love and trust and doubt in relationships. But on top of that, Hadestown adds in terrifying and biting commentaries about industrialization, menial labor, xenophobia, and so many other topics that are more than a little bit pertinent these days.

Go see this show if you get a chance, on Broadway or on tour. It’s a truly unique experience.

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In Memory of Stephen Sondheim – The Guru of Musical Theater

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I am just another heartbroken musical theater man adding his voice to a chorus of tributes, grief, and love. But if ever a cacophony of sound resolving into something poignant and beautiful was appropriate throughout the musical theater community, it is to lament the death – and honor the life and works – of Stephen Sondheim.

Other than binging on West Side Story” when I was a kid, it took me a while to come around to Sondheim. I would listen to an album, and every show was so musically unique (and yet so clearly and identifiably Sondheim) that I wouldn’t always get what he was trying to do. But every time, I would then see the show in person, and be absolutely stunned by it. After that, so many of those albums and scores became like dear friends, keeping me company in good and bad times, and challenging my own musical development in powerful ways.

Sondheim’s lyrics were positively masterful (he literally wrote the book on writing lyrics for musical theater). His lyrics were just… perfect. Each word, each syllable, chosen with such intention to create an incredible blend of poetry and cleverness that is so deeply satisfying at every turn. Jonathan Larson (creator of RENT) referred to him as “my guru of the Musical Theater” – a title and role with which Sondheim was most generous, truly believing in Jonathan and offering him guidance and encouragement along the way.

He was a good man. A brilliant composer and lyricist – but by all accounts, a kind, thoughtful, and nurturing human being.

Since Jonathan Larson is the reason why I write musical theater, I’ve always thought of Sondheim as my “composition grandfather.” Because so many of the lessons I have learned from over two decades of studying every note and word that Jonathan ever wrote were lessons that he himself learned from Sondheim, and which Sondheim learned from Oscar Hammerstein, and back and back and back to whoever was the first person to put word and song together and throw it all onto the stage.

The legacy and vibrant tradition that is musical theater.

Today we lost perhaps the greatest part of that legacy. The man most directly responsible for everything that musical theater is today. I honor him for that.

Because here’s what I admired most about Sondheim. For most of Broadway’s history (and Vaudeville and operetta before that), musical theater was strictly limited to musical comedy. There were exceptions here and there, starting with “Showboat” and many of Rogers & Hammerstein’s shows. But generally speaking, people would go to musical theater solely for escapism, spectacle, and fun. Sondheim brought in that same audience; but when the show started, they would be staring not at a spectacle – but rather at a giant mirror. A mirror showing them the very things they were meaning to escape, reflecting the darker and harder parts of the human experience, and challenging the audience to see the struggles and minutiae of their own lives played out by the characters on stage. This is, I believe, the pinnacle achievement of any art: to provide not just distraction and fun (though those things are quite valuable, too), but Company (pun intended) and catharsis. And so we become not just better artists and fans – we become better and wiser people.

Stephen’s passing at the ripe age of 91 is not tragic. But it is still deeply sad. He lived a truly remarkable life, and has left a legacy that will exist forever. So here’s to a life well lived – “I’ll drink to that.”

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If You Are Pro-Gun Control, Then You Can’t Be Anti-Vaccine.

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If you are pro-gun control, then you can’t be anti-vaccine.

The posts I am seeing are using the same logic as gun nuts. A lot about individual freedom over societal safety. A lot about how it’s your choice to protect yourself from some vague hypothetical enemy (intruders/vaccine side effects), while ignoring the proven threat of a real and present danger (40,000 gun deaths per year/COVID). Even incredibly offensive and utterly nonsensical posts about this being how the Holocaust started – which has long been one of the NRA’s favorite rhetorical tactics.

Why is it that you don’t support people being able to own whatever weapon they want? It’s not generally because they might hurt themselves; because even though that would be sad, they knowingly took that risk.

It’s because they might – and statistically, will – hurt other people.

It’s the same with the vaccines. If the only person impacted by your decision not to vaccinate was you, then I would be sad and scared for you if you didn’t vaccinate, but I would agree that you have the right to do whatever you want.

But you’re not just putting yourself at risk. You’re putting all of us at risk. You are turning a temporary nightmare into a permanent Hellscape, and you are literally bringing about the end of the world as we know it.

This fourth COVID surge is especially devastating, because it’s the only one that is almost completely avoidable. And with all these variants developing so rapidly because of all you readily-available hosts, the fifth, sixth, and hundredth ones might not be avoidable at all.

If you give someone COVID because you didn’t vaccinate and kept going out in public anyway – even if you continue to wear a mask, because that was always just the temporary stopgap measure that was (and is) better than absolutely nothing – if you give someone COVID, and they die, then their death is largely on you. If they have lifelong complications because of the disease you gave them – as tens of millions of people already do, and always will – that’s on you, too. That’s just how responsibility works. Whether that person is your family, your friend, or a stranger sitting next to you that you’ll never even know or talk to. Or the people they go on to infect. Remember: this entire virus, as all viruses do, began with just one person. And look where we are now.

Haven’t we seen enough of that chain reaction over this 17-month nightmare? Do you understand that the only reason it’s still going on at all is because of you, and others like you?

At least with a gun, people know they have a weapon. But with COVID, you are the weapon – and you may not even know you’re in possession before you end the life of a fellow human being. Many of whom can’t get vaccinated, for genuine medical reasons (such as not being normally able to mount an immune response at all). Can you really live with that? Especially when you have watched hundreds of your friends and family get vaccinated, and we are all doing just fine?  And knowing that our own vaccines will eventually fail, when just one of you inevitably produces a variant that is able to evade them? Especially for we at-risk people, who spent over a year living in terror praying for the safety and relief of a vaccine. We finally have that safety. I cried the day I became fully vaccinated and didn’t have to live in fear anymore. We all hugged our friends as though it was the first time in our lives that we could, and were so unspeakably grateful that finally, after so much death and sacrifice, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

And now you are taking that away from us.

I know that this is a difficult decision for some of you. I know that there is a plethora of misinformation out there, and that it is incredibly scary and overwhelming. But it is just that – misinformation. Lies told by people who profit from chaos and fear. And it’s literally going to make the last 17 months the new normal forever if you don’t do your part to end it. We will keep watching the people we love get picked off one by one. You could even be one of them.

I have seen COVID death firsthand. It is the most horrible thing I have ever seen. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want that for anyone.

If there is anyone who is on the fence about getting vaccinated, I would like to invite you to write to me to talk about it. I promise you I will listen to your concerns, and direct you to vetted medical resources to allay your fears. I will also admit when your concerns are potentially valid, but will do my best to convince you that the vaccine is still the far, far lesser risk. Both for you personally, and for all humanity.

Please don’t make us do this forever. Please don’t allow your fear and others’ manipulations to cause more people to die. Put down your weapon. It’s not just a personal choice; what you do affects all of us.

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